I'm pitchy

Damnit. I think I'm watching American Idol again. Yet I am not being taken in by any of these sob stories or the subtleties described to me by an anonymous friend who actually places financial wagers on this competition (He is amazingly accurate, too). The show fills me with hatred, which I do not need any more of in my life. It makes me hate dumb blonds even more than usual. I spend most of the time wondering what Simon Cowell's closet looks like. Seriously. Are all those nearly-identical shirts color-coordinated, folded, on hangers? How many does he have? How big is his closet and exactly how is it organized? Are some of the shirts folded and others hanging?

But there is nothing else on, right? Damn writer's strike. Wait, who is this guy...he's not bad looking...not a bad voice...STOP. I'm not getting hooked. Oh, but Paula is...you can see it in her eyes. She wants this guy. Oh, and he's going to Hollywood. Ok. Now this chick, someone tell her she does not sound like Mariah Carey just because she has a huge rack. Why are there so many commercials? How can someone not watch this crap without Tivo? Didn't there used to be people with some sort of talent on here?

I'm merely watching this season to count how many times "I think you're good, but not as good as you think you are" is said by Mr. Cowell. Because this is the second I've watched this tripe this season and I think I have heard it about 5 times.

However, allow me to present my very own American Idol, by way of Deutchland and New Jersey.

Presenting the Mad German: