Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Bill Clinton dons appropriate "ethnic" clothing, too

Ok Hilary. Stop acting like a desperate woman...Your husband wears appropriate dress when the occasion calls for it, too. There's nothing wrong with being respectful of another culture.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Most Amazing Song

While I am usually always disappointed with the Oscars, tonight hasn't been that bad. And Falling Slowly from Once won for Best Song!! It's the most beautiful, hopeful, heartbreaking, et al song and film. And thank you, Jon Stewart, for being effing classy. You brought Marketa Irglova back on to finish her speech. And she was lovely. I want to go curl up on my bed and listen to the Once soundtrack. And drown in sweet hopeful musical misery.

But dead people parade, that's all you give Heath? Come on!

Wonder how the picked the soldiers to announce the short film award. Had to have been some sort of competition on base. But do they get the $40K giftbag for presenters and nominees? I be thinking those kids need a relaxing private Caribbean cruise more than Cameron Diaz.

Ok. I stop now.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

This would have changed my life in high school

Summers during my adolescent years were spent at Riverport Amptheater (I think it is called something more corporate now...the UMB Bank Amptheater?), catching all those outdoor concerts in the cheap lawn seats. I saw a couple Lollapaloozas, Stone Temple Pilots, the Gin Blossoms, Reggae Sunsplash, even Jimmy Buffet (which, incidentally, is the best place for a teenager to find eager willing adults to buy them alcoholic beverages). For awhile I had a crap ID from "Ohio" that worked like a charm. A security guard once apologized to me for carding me while I was walking away with my Bud Light. I was smart. At the American ID Systems on 4th Ave & Grand, I chose Ohio, while others my age chose more "glamorous" states such as California, Hawaii or Florida. The lost their IDs not long after purchasing the "2 for $40" special. I think I had mine for a couple of years.

In any case, I thought back to the days of underage drinking when I saw this special item online. The Booze Bra (aka Wine Rack) can hold up to a full bottle of wine in a handy hydration pack nestled in an unassuming sports bra. It's like a Miracle Bra lined with the interior of a box of Franzia, but smaller — When its full, it even makes your breasts bigger. Had I had a Booze Bra in high school, perhaps I would have had more dates. Although I have always been a fast drinker, so the gig would have been up fairly soon after I arrived to the

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Someone stop this man

First off, the only good thing about being on a cruise with John Mayer would be the possibility that he might go overboard. But having to see John Mayer in Borat-style swimwear is more than I can take. Was this an attempt at being ironic or witty, or showing off his ability to poke fun at himself? No. It's lame. It's lame like a CBGB's T-shirt from Urban Outfitters, Hilary Clinton breaking down into tears, green & purple colored ketchup, artisan water and any other pathetic stab at irreverence.

Monday, February 04, 2008

I am such a geek 2.0

I want this to be my next road trip. Still some debate on whether it is or is not open to the public, but I may start begging this man by email.

It's lunchtime

Oh, Whole Foods. You're so eco-conscious and all natural and pseudo-European and all that good stuff. And you have such pretty prepared foods, how can one resist picking up a sandwich for lunch while on their way to work? Especially since you're supposed to save money going to a grocery store, even if you're just a tad bit overpriced.

This $7 chicken salad sandwich better be the world's best damn chicken salad sandwich. But I'm already guessing it's not because it was not $5, approximately 9" long, nor does it come on fresh-from-the-oven bread like the I-want-to-make-love-to-it sandwichs from Al's State Street Cafe in downtown Boston.

Part of me hates everything you stand for, Whole Foods. Sometimes, you make me just want to litter and eat Hot Pockets and drink Lil' Hugs and everthing else with artificial flavor and color.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Oh snap!

Tonight, I will sleep soundly knowing Tom Brady is sobbing like a little bitch!!! (And before you call me a "hater", think before you speak. He choked. I can finally say mean things about Tom Brady and be somewhat justified. And he will be sobbing into a supermodel's breasts so trust me, he doesn't deserve your pity.)

Friday, February 01, 2008

I am such a geek

Because this is the coolest thing I've seen all day. The Dark Knight trailer...in LEGO!!

Where was my invite??

I'm going to just believe it got lost in the mail because there is no reason I should not have been on the guestlist for Ice-T & CoCo's (charitable) Tupperware party.

Between all the Tupperware and CoCo's rack, the amount of man-made awesomeness could barely be contained in one measly little nightclub. It is so what
Mr. McGuire was envisioning when he told Benjamin Braddock he had just one word for him. Plastics.