Friday, September 29, 2006

Brief burst of negative thinking

Yeah. So I've been trying to think more positively these days. I think this partly-sunny disposition works for me. But obviously, I'm just not me unless I am bitching about something.

If you know me, you know I have those things I just can't stand. Things like:

  • Vegan/vegitarian food named after meat products (Dude. If you hate eating animals so much, then I don't want to see you cramming your face with veggie sausage or veggie chicken nuggets. Or at least make Morningstar Farms change the damn name.)
  • Scientologists
  • Evangelicals
  • Tom Cruise
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt
  • The vocal stylings of Anne Murray
  • Soundgarden (Black Hole Sun. Nuff said. One of the worst songs ever made.)
  • Manheim Steamroller Christmas music (Do they make other music besides Christmas music? I'm not sure, but that crap makes my ears bleed.)
  • Chick lit
  • Adding people you have never conversed with to your MySpace "friends"

I know there are more but the whole point of this exercise was to name what may be my newest pet peeve.

Dane Cook.

I do not understand why Dane Cook is so popular. It's like Ashton Kutcher doing stand-up in a lot of ways. And he's everywhere. He's hosting the season premiere of SNL this weekend (I won't even get into my thoughts on the direction SNL is taking. And I'm one of those who watches it even when it sucks). He hosted it last year. It blew (ok...I did sort of laugh at his monologue but the rest of the ep blew).

I guess Dane Cook has a zillion MySpace friends or something, too. And he was rumored to be doing Jessica Simpson. Maybe this how a person makes it nowadays. Not sure.

I just want someone to explain to me the appeal of Dane Cook. I will sit. I will listen. I will not interject. Just someone please tell me why Dane Cook is everywhere. Thanks.

And I guess to balance out my list of things I loathe, I'll include some random things I really like:
  • Slipping into just-out-of-the-dryer jeans
  • Battlestar Galactica (The new one. Duh.), Entourage, America's Next Top Model
  • Ice-T & Coco
  • Creed Barton
  • Anna Nicole Smith (Say what you want but that woman is a survivor who's done a whole lotta living)
  • Pole dancing
  • Water

Maybe I was stretching a bit, but I would like water even if it wasn't the essence of all earthly life.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or is T.O. the male, professional athelete equivilant of Lindsay Lohan? I'm going to call in Terrell Lohans. It's just at thought. I don't think I'm that funny or anything, but those two are just in the news for temper tantrums and stuff way too much.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Ordering another Ice-T & Coco

Yeah. I admit it. I just love them. I will continue posting pictures of them whenever I feel like it because I adore them. I don't care if these pictures are old. I just love me some Ice-T and CoCo.

I wonder what they wear when they're just sitting around the house watching SVU reruns. I've read Kimmora Lee Simmons has the largest private collection of Louis Vuitton. CoCo is bound to have the largest private collection of fishnet.

They are the new American dream. Ice-T is a former Army Ranger and revered "father of gangsta music" who then became a semi-respected actor. CoCo, aka Nicole Austin, was obviously a girl with a vision (and a plastic surgeon) who made it into Playboy and assorted swimsuit catalogs.

You know they have a sense of humor about themselves and I seriously find that beautiful. CoCo isn't trying to be something she's not and I don't see her trying to launch any lame ass fragrance on the market. And Ice-T is just Ice-T. He doesn't have to be anything he's not because he's Ice mutha-f**king T. (Yeah, and I'm a big L&O fan.)

An open letter to NASA

From the AP:
Astronaut Daniel Burbank, center, adjusts his launch and entry suit while sitting in the space shuttle Atlantis at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, FL. Saturday, September 9, 2006.

You know those astronauts are thinking it would be a lot cooler trip if NASA would have just let
Lance Bass come along for the ride.

Yeah. Lance Bass, the gay kid from NSync. But before he was the "gay kid", he was the "boyband kid who wanted to go to space." Doesn't anyone remember that? I do. And in my mind, he will always be the kid that didn't get to go into space. I don't care if he likes men or women, or if he pitches or catches.
He's Lance Bass, the kid who was this close to living out his astronaut fantasy.

Let Lance Bass live out his dream.

Lance Bass:
On The Line, out of the closet and into space!

NASA, let's face it, you guys are screwed. The remaining space shuttles are dreadfully out-of-date (um, yeah, you lost two pretty much because of maintenance issues that weren't taken care of before liftoff). Launches haven't been a big national event in several decades. You're not getting the proper government funding because, well, there is that little war going on.

Russia lets millionaires take a celestial journey when they pony up around $20 million.
Richard Branson is promising space flights on his Virgin Galactic within the next five years at $100,000 a pop. Maybe NASA should do some of the same.

Frankly, NASA, the only really "positive" shout-out you've gotten since the Columbia tragedy was when Bush decided to talk about putting people on the moon again in last year's State of the Union address. You guys were that year's "let's end steroids in baseball" insert. You know what I'm talking about. You were just an attempt to distract the American public from what's dreadfully wrong with this country's policy.

NASA, not Social Security, should be privatized. You know how much funding NASA could get by letting millionaires -- who have nothing better to do than fly hot air balloons around the world -- travel to space for a few days? A lot.

Let Lance Bass live out
his dream. Please? The First Openly Gay American in Space has a nice ring to it, right? I think it does. Sure, the Christian Right may be super pissed, but their arguement is going to be hilarious. They'll say such things as "homosexuals have no place in the realm of great American heroes like John Glenn" and other such ridiculous nonsense. But yet, they will all be wearing t-shirts that say "If you can send a homo into space, why can't you send all of them?" Their arguement will be hilarious and full of gross contradictions, and even those against gay marriage would probably start to look at this whole "morality" arguement as complete bullshit. But above all, people would start caring and talking about NASA again. It would be a PR bonanza on every level.

Putting Lance Bass on the Discovery or Atlantis would be one small step for man and one giant leap for gay mankind. Yo, NASA. I got four words for you: Work it out, girlfriend!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

EEEEEEK! (Second Coming of L. Ron / Freakboy's Little Sugarcube)

I am so ashamed to have two celebrity-related posts in a row, but this is just way too scary.

The first pictures of Suri Cruise have been released. There is just something slightly off about the child. I mean, it appears to be a normal healthy baby (I have never purported to be a medical expert), but if it truly is the spawn of Tom Cruise, something must be not right? (Not to mention how Scientologists feed babies with fruit juices. Yeah, um, what does that do to little baby gums?)

Some have described the child as looking like an Asian Elvis but I would rather liken it to a Bjork facsimile. Yet, Bjork is kind of cool so that would be insulting her. But it really does look like a miniature Bjork.

I just hope that Suri kid is somehow able to get some therapy when it grows up.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Ice-T & Coco-licious!!!

YAY! I guess Ice-T & Coco attended the VMAs. AWESOME!! Because that means there were photos!