Saturday, September 09, 2006

An open letter to NASA

From the AP:
Astronaut Daniel Burbank, center, adjusts his launch and entry suit while sitting in the space shuttle Atlantis at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, FL. Saturday, September 9, 2006.

You know those astronauts are thinking it would be a lot cooler trip if NASA would have just let
Lance Bass come along for the ride.

Yeah. Lance Bass, the gay kid from NSync. But before he was the "gay kid", he was the "boyband kid who wanted to go to space." Doesn't anyone remember that? I do. And in my mind, he will always be the kid that didn't get to go into space. I don't care if he likes men or women, or if he pitches or catches.
He's Lance Bass, the kid who was this close to living out his astronaut fantasy.

Let Lance Bass live out his dream.

Lance Bass:
On The Line, out of the closet and into space!

NASA, let's face it, you guys are screwed. The remaining space shuttles are dreadfully out-of-date (um, yeah, you lost two pretty much because of maintenance issues that weren't taken care of before liftoff). Launches haven't been a big national event in several decades. You're not getting the proper government funding because, well, there is that little war going on.

Russia lets millionaires take a celestial journey when they pony up around $20 million.
Richard Branson is promising space flights on his Virgin Galactic within the next five years at $100,000 a pop. Maybe NASA should do some of the same.

Frankly, NASA, the only really "positive" shout-out you've gotten since the Columbia tragedy was when Bush decided to talk about putting people on the moon again in last year's State of the Union address. You guys were that year's "let's end steroids in baseball" insert. You know what I'm talking about. You were just an attempt to distract the American public from what's dreadfully wrong with this country's policy.

NASA, not Social Security, should be privatized. You know how much funding NASA could get by letting millionaires -- who have nothing better to do than fly hot air balloons around the world -- travel to space for a few days? A lot.

Let Lance Bass live out
his dream. Please? The First Openly Gay American in Space has a nice ring to it, right? I think it does. Sure, the Christian Right may be super pissed, but their arguement is going to be hilarious. They'll say such things as "homosexuals have no place in the realm of great American heroes like John Glenn" and other such ridiculous nonsense. But yet, they will all be wearing t-shirts that say "If you can send a homo into space, why can't you send all of them?" Their arguement will be hilarious and full of gross contradictions, and even those against gay marriage would probably start to look at this whole "morality" arguement as complete bullshit. But above all, people would start caring and talking about NASA again. It would be a PR bonanza on every level.

Putting Lance Bass on the Discovery or Atlantis would be one small step for man and one giant leap for gay mankind. Yo, NASA. I got four words for you: Work it out, girlfriend!

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