Saturday, July 08, 2006

What Not To Wear — Political Pundit Edition

You're hiding the flog behind your back, aren't you?

Ann Coulter is one of those conservative zealots who never seem to disappear for long enough off the public radar. You know it's gotten bad when even the purveyors of celebrity trash like US Weekly start mentioning this quasi-Nazi stick figure.

Sure, Coulter's long-winded and pointless tirades against liberals irk me because she never presents actual evidence to back up her opinion. But my main problem lies with her wardrobe choices.

If you're the ultra-conservative mouthpiece of American women, you ought to start dressing the part. Women who openly remark that the U.S. should bomb the Middle East and convert the remaining inhabitants to Christianity should dress a little more matronly.

Open up a charge at
Talbot's and stop buying evening wear at Trash & Vaudeville. Parading around like a dominatrix and barely-there skirts doesn't really promote that anti-abortion / Jesus Rules stance in my eyes.

I'm all about believing whatever you wish to believe and dressing however you choose, but if you're going to be as publicly virulent as Ms. Coulter, you don't dress in such a manner that may represent what you consider to be a bit inherent to this country's "moral decline".

Just browse through the
"photo tour" on Ms. Coulter's website. It's fabulous (The gun photo is a personal favorite). It's much like looking at someone's random vacation photos rather than a photo album of one of this country's most-hated pundits. Much of it makes no sense if you've ever heard or read any of this woman's endless argument.

There's conservative...and then there's ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE. I expect those in the latter group to abstain from alcohol use and drug-culture musical preferences. If you're going to be oh-so vocal, well, it's best you back up that argument. That blouse better be entirely buttoned and the only music on your iPod better be in the running for that Myrrh Record.

And honestly, Coulter, is that a smile I see on your face as you pose with Reverend Al?

Ditch the latex and start browsing the Harve Benard section, Coulter. Didn't you learn a thing from J. Edgar Hoover?


Anonymous said...

I've thought about this - she does dress like a whore, but considering that she is a media whore/right wing martyr, it works.

Maybe she'll pull a Sharon Stone/Basic Instinct (the first one) and show us her deathstar cooch, whereupon exposure to such a thing will kill the infidels (i.e. all non-religious types) and make all the illegals disappear.

Chiltblogg said...

Ann may be no Janet Reno, that's for sure, but she is a tad hotter than, say, Madiline Albirght. I know you don't think she backs her arguments, she does for the most part, but she is so funny and right about so many things she makes great reading.

Anonymous said...

It's people like this that give us Republicans a bad name. I suppose though, that the Ann Coulters and Michael Moores of the world end up balancing each other out.


Adam G said...

UGH... I abso-fuckin'-lutely HATE Ann Coulter!!!! With her long-ass horsey face and mannish looks she would have been a MUCH better casting choice than Felicty Huffman in "TransAmerica". She is an arrogant cunt who needs to be kicked in her ugly ass face.