Wednesday, November 22, 2006

You're not making me feel fresh

A couple of weeks ago, I had a rental car and decided to venture to the Natick Mall. I like the Natick Mall. They're getting a Nordstrom and Neiman's, but right now, I'm just happy they have a Delia's. I don't care if I'm almost 30. They have some neat 'n' cheap stuff, particularly these tanks and ribbed tops that fit unbelievably well. Granted, I'm not going to buy a little baby tee that proclaims "I got the hook-up", but whatever. Delia's is cool.

As I'm casing the Natick Mall, I see some new store called
Aerie. Because it's directly next to an American Eagle, I quickly figured out its obviously part of their gimmick. One of my oldest friends works for American Eagle and occasionally, I will buy the random garment (Like this killer navy sundress I wear whenever I want to poorly execute the bad girl persona and follow it with vapid pouting and/or sobbing into a flask, a la Marissa Cooper) from this chop shop they call a retail chain. I've never gotten into AE, mainly because it feels like they're still ripping off the whole Abercrombie thing from the mid-90s. They're still doing Dawson's Creek in a Degrassi: The Next Generation world.

I guess AE wants to get in on some of the
Victoria's Secret Pink or Gap Body action. I didn't go into the store, but it definitely was Pink for The-N set. Personally, I think its a bit late to cash in on the too-cute-in-cotton loungewear trend, but honestly, I never thought American Eagle would still be in every shopping mall across the country after 2000.

I don't find Aerie annoying because its part of American Eagle. I find it annoying because their in-house ad department should really re-think the branding. It's not so much Aerie is a bad name — it does incorporate the parent brand, but it's not very good when you see the entire logo.

Look at it. You know what I'm thinking, right? It's a feminine hygeine product. When I first saw the storefront, I even got that quasi-uncomfortable feeling previously triggered only by douche commercials featuring fresh 'n' clean women swathed in white linen skipping stones along the shore (Just FEEL the depth of this metaphor!). Aerie suggests being free and clean and air-dried. There's the little birdie, all liberated and happy, flying wherever she may without having to worry about not feeling fresh.

I don't want to buy loungewear or lingerie from a store mirroring the brand identity of
Always and Playtex. In fact, if I'm trying for the whole "playful & cute" seduction vibe, the last thing I want to think of is butterflies, beaches, and Judy Blume.

(Judy Blume had to have been on
Stayfree's payroll because she built her entire career on writing about teenage girls anxiously awaiting the arrival of their first period. A first period became the literal climax / turning point of her novels. The woman turned menstration into plot structure!)

Ok, Aerie. I know you really don't care if I won't shop your store. And even if you didn't use that sanitary napkin font, I probaby still wouldn't shop there. Even if panties and tampons are all "intimates" in some capacity, I just don't want to associate my boyshorts with douche everytime I need to run into a mall.

1 comment:

I guess I do have SOME morals! said...

Guess who... so yeah... aerie... internally at American Eagle's corporate office some of us refer to it as "scaerie" because it is SOOOO douche-tastic! The woman who is one of the Senior Buyers of aerie is this slut who we will call "Lacey". "Lacey" has worked at AE's corp office for about 10 years and she was engaged to this closet case we work with who we will call "Rob" and they had an "open relationship" which meant that "Lacey" had no qualms about sleeping with one of her friend and co-worker's husbands... and "Rob" is rumored to have no problem taking up the ass since he is as queer as a picnic basket in January! C'mon... people don't date for 7 years and then stay engaged for 2 additional two years without ever making it to the altar.

AE may come off as wholesome and a much more moral and bit bit prudish in it's in store marketing, but the shit that goes on in the corporate office would give even the raciest, most risque poster of a frat house orgy in Abercombie's window a run for it's money.

Based on "Lacey's" SEXpertise, I would say they could take aerie in a much more scandouls direction. Be on the lookout for "flirty undies" that say shit like "Homewrecker" and "The Queen Sheeba of Syphilis" at an aerie store (or the back seat of "Lacey's" car) soon!