Monday, November 20, 2006

Kill the cheerleader. And McDreamy. And McSteamy.

I would typically tell anyone, when voicing such an opinion, not to watch it or not to pay attention. And I, myself, have tried to do this, yet there seems to be no escaping it.

I have a lot of distrust for things that a ridiculous amount of people seem to agree upon. I thought Meet The Parents sucked. I won't see Braveheart or My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I have never, nor will I ever read The Da Vinci Code. I will not play Sudoku.

Nothing, however, seems to annoy me as much as this phenomenon does in regards to network television. I don't know anyone who watches Survivor, or, for that matter, many people who any watch shows on CBS (I think the last time I watched something on CBS was the mid-80s when Kate & Allie was on). Wait. I did try CSI a few times, but could never get into it — mainly because when I'm watching television, I don't want the reason for some horrific accident to be bad brakes. No. You watch fictional television to see horrific crimes and motives.

However, the popularity of CSI has never irked me as much as the new breed of nicknames or catchphrases that seem to be everywhere I turn.

Let's start with Heroes. Of all the networks, I probably Tivo NBC shows more than any other because I love my Law & Order(s) and enjoy The Office, Studio 60, and My Name is Earl. I never want to see another commercial for this show. NBC also owns the Sci-Fi channel, of which I religiously watch Battlestar Galactica and some other random programs when the time is right (but never Stargate). Sci-Fi reairs Heroes throughout the week, so they also feature several ads for the show.

I don't even watch much television, yet, there are just some things one cannot escape.

I swear that I cannot avoid these ads, even with the Tivo. This stupid catchphrase they've come up with — Save the cheerleader. Save the world. Seriously. I cannot take it anymore. I was in high school once and cheerleaders only wore their uniforms on game days. I get that they're trying for the whole pesudo-superhero vibe and all, but girlfriend is not wearing the skirt and spankies 7 days a week. Every time I have seen an ad for this show, she's wearing the damned uniform. To my knowledge, she doesn't even throw on an (equally annoying) Juicy Couture sweat ensemble when she gets home.

Would somebody PLEASE kill the cheerleader? Really. At this point, I don't even care if the world is completely screwed because I'll never have to hear that inane voice whispering this inane catchphrase ever again. I like a lot of sci-fi shows. I like twists and turns and all that good stuff, but come on! Save the cheerleader, save the world? It's apparent you tried too hard for the "quirky catchphrase". And you've killed it. It's gone beyond Is that your final answer territory.

Although I have several friends who tell me I would enjoy Grey's Anatomy, I won't do that, either. As much of a huge fan I am of Sandra Oh, I still won't do Grey's Anatomy. I've been told I would really like the character of Grey, that I would even identify with her. Perhaps I would, but I'm not going to now because I'm so eff-ing sick of hearing about this "McDreamy" and this "McSteamy".

Sure, women come up with nicknames for those whom they get involved with. I have several. Perhaps I am biased, but they are much more clever than "McDreamy". Hey, I've never had anything against Patrick Demsey and I'm happy his career has been revitalized and he's gained sex symbol status. He seems like a nice guy. But I'm not ever going to refer to him as "McDreamy".

This would be easier to avoid than Heroes, considering I do not watch much on ABC. I don't even know if they reference these names in the ads. All I know is that I can't buy a soda or pack of cigarettes without "McSteamy" or "McDreamy" staring at me from near the register. I hop on a various webpages and there seems to always be something about these "McSteamy" and "McDreamy" people. Enough already. Between terms like McMansions and McChow, don't we have enough Mc-euphanisms in popular culture?

Are "McDreamy" and "McSteamy" the fast-food equivilent of hot men? Is that what you're trying to tell me? I just don't know and I really don't care.

Hmmm. I've just come up with a moral dillema: Would I save the cheerleader if she took out McSteamy and McDreamy? Or just stopped the use of their ridiculous nicknames?

I'm going to have to think about this one for awhile.

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