Wednesday, February 06, 2008

This would have changed my life in high school

Summers during my adolescent years were spent at Riverport Amptheater (I think it is called something more corporate now...the UMB Bank Amptheater?), catching all those outdoor concerts in the cheap lawn seats. I saw a couple Lollapaloozas, Stone Temple Pilots, the Gin Blossoms, Reggae Sunsplash, even Jimmy Buffet (which, incidentally, is the best place for a teenager to find eager willing adults to buy them alcoholic beverages). For awhile I had a crap ID from "Ohio" that worked like a charm. A security guard once apologized to me for carding me while I was walking away with my Bud Light. I was smart. At the American ID Systems on 4th Ave & Grand, I chose Ohio, while others my age chose more "glamorous" states such as California, Hawaii or Florida. The lost their IDs not long after purchasing the "2 for $40" special. I think I had mine for a couple of years.

In any case, I thought back to the days of underage drinking when I saw this special item online. The Booze Bra (aka Wine Rack) can hold up to a full bottle of wine in a handy hydration pack nestled in an unassuming sports bra. It's like a Miracle Bra lined with the interior of a box of Franzia, but smaller — When its full, it even makes your breasts bigger. Had I had a Booze Bra in high school, perhaps I would have had more dates. Although I have always been a fast drinker, so the gig would have been up fairly soon after I arrived to the

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